Yugi and the Beast
by RiYuYami
Summary: My own missed up version of Beauty and the Beast only with YGO people! OOC, mild laungauge, and much much humor. Tea' bashing in the first chapter! YAOI! R&R Chapter 6 is finally up! YAHOO! Be happy peps...
1. 1: The Spell

Hello. I'm Ri and with me today is Atemu. We are starting a new story called…… (Drum roll please) Yugi and the Beast! My favorite anime, and Disney movie. YAY!

Atemu/ why are you so happy? It's just a Beauty and the Beast/YGO fan fic.

Because it's my first yaoi story! WHOOPEEEEEEEEEE! (Spins around in chair) Do the disclaimer! -

Atemu/ Ri does not own YuGiOh or BATB. Thank Ra!Hits him in the head with a bat OWW!>- 

Don't be mean! On with the fic! Also Atemu has some bad mouth in this story, actually everyone does, so that makes it okay. Plus Yami has the magic mirror from the movie.

………………………………………………………………………

Chapter one: The Spell

Once upon a time, there once was a prince who had everything his heart desired, but was still spoiled. On one cold night, something happened that would change his life forever.

'This is soooooo boring.' Thought the red eyed, tri-haired prince as he watch people bring him stuff or "crap" as he put it. Just as he was about to die of boredom there was a knock at the castle's door. "Who the hell is at the freaking door!" he said as he got up to answer it.

What he saw at the door caused his eye to twitch a lot. It was an ugly old hag. "Please I'll give you this rose in exchange for shelter." she said as she showed the prince the rose.

"I don't want your stupid, dinky rose you old hag!" he yelled. "I'll let you have sex with me if you let me in." she pleaded. "Okay. That's just gross." Said the prince as he was about to slam the door on her. Suddenly the hag began to glow and she turned in to a brown haired, blue eyed lady. "I will let you pass my test if you have hot sex with me in my true form." said the lady.

"Okay, what you talken' 'bouts bitch! I'll give you 3 reasons why I won't: 1. you're so ugly you disgust me, 2. you're to damn ugly, and 3. I'm gay. Get it through that freaking head!" said the prince as he counted on his fingers.

"WHAT? You dare to defy me?" yelled a very angry witch. "I think I just did foo." Said an annoyed Atemu (he is the prince). "That's it! I will change you into a beast that matches your black heart! And I'll even change every one else into inanimate objects."  
"You don't have the grapes." "Yes I have the grapes stupid!" "OH GOOD RA. That means you're a man!" "Okay! That's it! Your cursed." said Tea, as she shot a beam of light at Atemu. With out warning, his skin became the color of darkness, he grew sharp claws and fangs, and he also gave off an evil growl and grew and extra foot in height. As soon as Tea left the castle changed form as did everyone else. Atemu, now know as Yami, was given the enchanted rose that would bloom until his 21 year, and he had to find his true love before the last petal falls or the castle would be cursed forever, but who could ever love a beast who couldn't even leave the castle walls. Man. Life sucks for them. TBC


	2. 2: Yugi

HELLO! Hi it's me! This is the second chapter to Yugi and the Beast. With me today is my cute, little Yugi! (Glomps Yugi) Yugi do the disclaimer and reviews.

Yugi/ Thanks. Okay Ri does not own YGO or BATB. Poor little Ri. (pats her on the head)

Thank you. Now thank my fantastic reviewers!

Yugi/ Okay. tediz-leader- Thank you and cool evil laugh! Kyo lover with little sanity-danke shun (thank you) Frogger666-Yes it hilarious!- Damen'sOmen-You jerk don't call me Twig hear! You BAKA! Ri had this all written down for me to read.

Let's start with chapter two "Yugi"! Also I don't remember all the lines to the Belle song, just so you know I have to use my Broadway C.D. Also I'll get lazy and put just the first letter in their names instead of writing it out.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Chapter 2: Yugi

It was a warm sunny day as a young boy stepped out of his house to go to town. He was 18, had on a white t-shirt with blue sleeves which was two sizes bigger them him but he didn't care, and tight lither pants of dark blue. He also had long, spiky silky tri colored hair and large amethyst eyes that could stop a raging war. (AN: SOOOOO DREAMY!

drools) This boy was Yugi and he was the most perfect person in the whole town, he even made girls jealous because even the guys liked him A LOT! And now we will listen to him sing in his dreamy voice! (Yugi fans should faint now!)

Yugi: Little town, it's a quite village. Everyday like the one before, little town full of little people waking up to say…..

Man: Bonjur!

Woman: Bonjur!

Man Bonjur!

People: Bonjur! Bonjur! Bonjur! Bonjur!

Yugi: There goes the baker with his trey like always. The same old bread and rolls to sell. The mornings just the same since the morning that we came to this poor provincial town.

Baker: Good morning Yugi.

Yugi: Good morning dude.

Baker: So where are you off to?

Yugi: The book shop. I just finished the coolest book guys fighting and….

Baker: That's nice. Marie! The begets! Hurry up!

Ladies: Look there he goes, that boy is strange no question. Seems distracted cant you see.

Lady: Never part of any crowed.

Man: Because his heads up on some cloud.

People: There's no denying, he's a funny boy that Yugi.

People: Bonjur. Good day. How is your family? Bonjur. Good day. How is your wife? I need six eggs! That's to expensive!

Y: There most be more than this provincial life!

Book shop owner: Hey Yugi!

Y: S'up Valon. I come to give you back your book.

Valon: Hey Yug! I want to give you this book that you always read if I don't get any thing new.

Y: Wow! Thanks Val. See ya!

(You know what Yug? Y: What? R: I'm to lazy to write this song out and I've listened to that song over 6 times and now I'll just write where Gaston talks to La Foo and after the song. Sorry readers but it's almost 10 and I want to get this chapter up. GOMEN! Oh those 3 girls from the movie are Anzu, Serenity, and Pegasus in drag! Now dear readers start laughing like a crazy person. )

Skip to Kaiba and Mokoba

BANG!

Mokoba: I got it Kaiba! OWW! Wow! You didn't miss a shot Kaiba you're the greatest hunter in the whole world.

Kaiba: I know.

Mokoba: No beast stands a chance against you and no person for that matter.

K: It's true Mokoba. And I got my eyes set on that one. points to Yugi

M: The inventor's grandson?

K: Yep! The lucky boy I 'm going to marry. The most beautiful boy in town! And I deserve only the best.

M: Yes sir! (I have to does this part he wants to make Yug his man wife! Y and K: O.O)

K: Right from the moment that I met him, saw him. I said he's gorges and I fell. Here In town it's only he who's as beautiful as me. So I'm making plans to woo and marry Yugi.

Skip to the end of song

K: Hello cute legs, lips, hips, and ass!

Y: Okaaaaaaay. Nice to see you to Seto. Now I have to go home and read.

K: Yugi, Yugi, Yugi. Don't you know books can only be used for make shift toilet paper. (points to a guy in an opened port-a-potty wiping his ass with a book page.)

Y:O.O Eww. (AN: I'm still writing in script form! After this chapter I'll only do it for songs)

K: See. Now why don't you start dating me, and leave your little ass wipers for later.

Y: I'm leaving, because my gramps needs help at the….

BOOM! Y, K, and M looked over at Yugi's house to see smoke.

Y: Holy Crap! I got to go! See ya, later, bye!

TBC

……………………………………………………………………………..

That was long!

Yugi/ It was only 3 pages Ri! How come you're so damn lazy!

HEY! This chapter is 3 pages long and that's 2 more than chapter 1!

Yugi: You're mean Ri. starts to cry

Oh! Gomen Yugi! I'm just a little tiered because we had a pep rally at school and it was hot and outside and I have a fractured foot and I got to wear a bloody cast on it.

Yugi/ Okay, you are forgiven. Ri glomps Yugi aging Please review before she goes crazy and puts you in closet that hold Teaaa……… Ri covers his mouth

Don't believe him folks! Just read and review, okey-doky?


	3. 3: Do you think I'm weird & Gay

(Ri comes in locking all the doors. Yami is with her) Oh my Ra! It has been almost three months since this fanfic was last updated! I'm so sorry.

Yami: That was your fault for putting it off for so long.

I only put it of because of a freaking writer's block. Do the disclaimer please.

Yami: Ri does not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Beauty and the Beast, or any products mentioned in this fanfic.

This chapter is going to be one hell of a pain in the ass. I'm making this all one chapter instead of two I originally was going to do.

Remember, I'm doing this for my fans that happen to be about ten. I have been bothered by people that want me to update, they even told me to update in reviews for some of my other fanfics.

I even got one on my You Tube account!

Yami: On with the fic!

Hey! Do any of you people know how hard it is to write this fanfic?

I have to write down the songs and I have to screw up the whole thing, but still stay in the basic story line.

Yami: The rating went to M because of cussing and other inappropriate things. Just to let you know.

Oh, by the way. I got the cast of my foot. I had it on from April to June. At least I did not have to run in P.E., and I did not have to after I got it off, because I had to let my foot heal.

…………………………………………

Chapter 3: "Do you think I'm weird and Gay?"

Yugi ran as fast as he could for two reasons; 1: He had to get away from Kaiba, and 2: His Grandpa could be dead, and Yugi does not want to pa for his funeral.

Yugi opened the doors to the cellar where his Grandpa worked on his lame-ass inventions.

Yugi did not mean to be mean, its just that they sucked. Smoke hit Yugi in the face as he walked down the stairs.

"Grandpa, are you still down here?" Yugi's question was answered by a muffled "Yes." Yugi found his Grandpa's ass sticking out of one of the barrels.

Yugi pulled as hard as he could and then a loud "POP!" was heard.

Yugi either got his Grandpa out or he snapped his spine. Which one was it? No, the answer was that he did free his fat Grandfather.

"Thank you Yugi? Can you hand me the do-hicky-thingy?" Grandpa said as he went right back to working on his wood chopper.

"Sure." Yugi looked through the toolbox and found a funky looking tool. He threw it and it hit the old man in the Wang-dang-doodle. "Sorry Grandpa."

"…That's okay…Yugi…How was town?"

"I got a new book. Hey Grandpa? Do you think I'm weird and Gay?"

Grandpa came out from underneath his wood chopper and looked at his only grandson. "Weird: No. Gay: Yes. Why did you bring up such a weird topic?"

"I don't know. There really is no one I can talk to here in the village." Yugi said as he sat down on a chair.

"What about that Kaiba guy? He's a handsome fellow."

"He maybe handsome, but he's a fucking ass hole."(A.N. Fantastic! I finally wrote in the f-word. It's a very elegant word, by the way.)

"YUGI! Don't call people ass holes."(A.N. And you thought that he would get on him for saying fucking.)

"Sorry Grandpa."

"Oh well. Okay let's see if this damn thing works this time." Grandpa said as he pushed a large red button thing.

The machine started doing a lot of weird things. "AHHHH! I don't want to die." Yugi yelled as he picked up his Grandpa to use as a shield.

"Hey, put me down!"

"No, I'm to young and cute to die"

"Well I'm too old to die from that thing."

"I don't give a damn! You're going to die anyway." As the two guys yelled at each other a chunk of wood flew over their heads.

They turned their heads and saw that the machine was cutting the wood.

"IT WORKS!" They both said in union.

"Hitch Gia up, boy. I'm off to the fair!"

**Later that day**

"BYE GRANDPA! Don't come back to soon…" Yugi yelled and then whispered. He watched as his Grandpa go into the forest.

As soon as Yugi could not see his Grandpa anymore, he ran inside to play Kingdom Hearts Two.

**Much later, but in the forest**

Grandpa ran as fast as he could on Gia. Okay Gia did the running but back to the story. They were being chased by Timber Wolves.

They were coming up to a clearing but, what they saw surprised them. There stood a large dark castle.

Solomon opened the gates to let him self in as he saw that the horse ran for his life. He closed the gates when the wolves came.

Solomon walked across the large stone bridge. He looked up and saw two large wooden doors. (A.N. DUH!) The old man let himself in.

In side was dark and old. A lot of things were covered in dust and there were scratch marks on the floor and walls.

"Man, Extreme Makeover Home Edition needs to come to this dump." Solomon said to himself. He began to walk toward a table that had a candle stick holder and a clock.

Two small voices could be heard.

"Not one word, Joey. Not one word."

"Oh shut up Tristan."

Solomon turned around. Where were those voices coming from? "Hello? Is someone there?" Solomon yelled as he picked up the candle holder.

The old man felt something touch his shoulder. He turned and saw a face on the middle candle. "Hello old guy."

Solomon dropped Joey. He backed up into the table and he elbowed the clock in the face.

"OWW! That hurt man." Tristan said. Solomon picked him up and began to play around with his pendulum, until Tristan closed his door on Solomon's finger.

"Ouch. How do you work? ACHOO!"

"We are all cursed. We were human, but that story was told back in chapter one. You poor man. You seem to be sick. Here, come with me." Joey said as he began to hop to a room.

He let the old guy sit in a chair. Tristan freaked. "No, he can't sit in Master's chair." But no one heard him and he got ran over by a moving tea cart.

"Here is some nice hot tea for you sir." The teapot, Ishizu, said as she felled a small tea cup with the hot liquid.

"Oh, why thank you." Solomon put the glass up to his mouth and the cup began to giggle. "Mama, his mustache tickles." Ryo said. Solomon looked at the cute little cup.

But then the door opened and the fire in the fire place went out. All the objects ran to a corner. Solomon could feel a pair of eyes looking at him.

He looked behind him and saw a boy, who was tall, had sharp fangs and claws. His hair was like Yugi's but only different. His eyes were a blood red and his skin was as black as night.

"What the hell are you doing in my castle? Do you know who I am you wimpy little human-thing?" The scary looking guy said as he pick Solomon up by his shirt.

"I'm Solomon and I got lost in the woods. And I have no idea who you are."

Yami turned his head and made that funny face that anime characters make when the realize something.

He dropped the old man. 'My popularity must have gone down in the past ten years.'

"Umm…excuse me?" Yami turned to look at the guy on the floor.

"Oh, yes. Where was I? That's right! I'm Yami, lord and master of this castle and I don't like it when you people come in here. Plus I just don't like you at the moment. Send the old dude to the dungeon thing."

Yami walked out of the room. "Now I can go back to playing Finale Fantasy eight. And then I'll play Kingdom Hearts two."

…………………………………………

There you happy now? I finally put up this Ra forsaken chapter. I hate you all. I can't take this much stress!

(Ri smacks her head on the desk a few times. She stops after a while. A few drops of blood come down her forehead))

Yami: Ri? WAKE UP! (Yami begins to shack her)

Ummm…Everything reminds me of my therapist…Yami?

Yami: Oh thank Ra your alive! Please review this chapter. This was about five pages long.


	4. 4: I want adventure

Okay it has been since the thirteenth since I last updated and there was no way in hell that I was going to let this chapter wait for over two months. This is probably my favorite scene to write.

Yami: You are a total ass to Seto you know that?

Yeah, but I love Seto, but he needs to be bashed…I think.

Yami: RiYuYami does not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Beauty and the Beast. She does own the plot and probably the word "man-wife." She also does not own any products used in this stupid fanfic at all. She wishes she does though.

I also wish for you to have hot sex with Yugi or Seto on an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh but we yaoi fans can only dream of it. Let's boycott 4Kids Entertainment.

Yami: Okay, but we should go talk to Kazuki Takahashi about me and Yugi not kissing before I went to the after life.

Okay. On with the fic!

………………………………

Chapter 4: "I want adventure…"

"Yugi's going to be in for the surprise of his life, huh Kaiba?"

"Yep. Today's his lucky day." Kaiba and Mokuba were in the bushes in front of Yugi's crap-shack house. So what if his Grandpa was poor.

Kaiba and Mokuba walked away from the bushes and headed toward an area with lots of people and it looked like a wedding was going to happen. Anzu, Serenity, and Pegasus were crying their eyes out.

"Thank you all for coming to my wedding. Now I'll have to do is…propose to the boy." Everyone laughed at the joke that Kaiba made. They two girls and "girl" were still crying.

Seto faced Mokuba. "Mokuba. You know what to do when Yugi and I step out of that door right?"

"Yeah! I strike up the band!" Mokuba moved his hand's and used his conductor's stick to make the band play a crappy version of the wedding song.

This pissed the tall brunet off. He took a tuba and hit it over Mokuba's head.

"Not yet."

"Sorry." Mokuba said with his lips sticking out of the mouth piece (A.N. I don't even know how that happened)

Yugi sat in his kitchen/dining room reading the book that he got from Valon. He had beaten a few levels in Kingdom Hearts Two, and decided that he wanted to read his book. He, being gay, would imagine the girls being guys.

He heard a knock on his door and he looked through the weird thing that allows you to see who is at the door that his Grandpa built. Yugi looked through it and saw a fish-eye-point-of-view of Seto Kaiba.

Yugi groaned as he opened the door. He backed up when Seto came in. "Kaiba. What a surprise."

"Isn't just. I'm just full of surprises. Yugi, this is the…" Kaiba looked in to Yugi's mirror and used his tongue to clean his teeth. "There…this is the day that all your dreams come true."

"What do you know about my dreams Kaiba?"

"Plenty. Imagine this." Kaiba said as he placed his hot ass on to a chair and placed his muddy boots onto Yugi's book. He then kicks of the boots. "A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little man-wife massaging my feet, while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs."

Then Kaiba got right into Yugi's face. "We'll have six or seven."

"Dogs?" Yugi said nervously.

Kaiba got up form his seat. "No Yugi. Strapping young boys like me. And do you know who that little man-wife will be?"

"Let me think…"

"You Yugi." Kaiba said as he got closer to the young amethyst-eyed man. Yugi back up against the door as Seto got right in his face. "Kaiba…I'm speechless. I really don't know what to say."

"Say you'll marry me." The Blue-eyed man said in a seductive voice.

Yugi placed his hand on the doorknob. "I'm sorry Kaiba…but…I…I just don't deserve you."

Kaiba flew out the front door when Yugi opened the door and moved out of the way to let him fall into a mud puddle.

Mokuba saw this and strikes up the band. Yugi throw Kaiba's boots out the door and slammed the door. Mokuba bent over and saw a pig pop out of the mud with Kaiba's head under it.

"So, how'd it go?" Mokuba asked, but his response was Kaiba grapping him by the neck and throwing him into the mud. "I'll have Yugi as my man-wife. Make no mistake about that."

Mokuba and the piggy looked at the steamed Kaiba as he walked off.

"Touchy."

"Oink-oink."

**Back at Yugi's place**

Yugi opened the front door and took a look around. "Is he gone?" Yugi asked to a chicken that was on the porch. The chicken nodded.

"Good. Can you believe it? He asked me to marry him. Me, the man-wife of that boring, brainless…" (Oh boy, another song to change)

Yugi: Monsieur Kaiba. Can you just see it?

Monsieur Kaiba. His little man-wife.

No sir, not me. I guarantee it…I want much more than this provincial life!

I want adventure in the great wide some where; I want it more than I can tell.

And for once it might be grand…to have someone understand…I want so much more than they got planed…

Yugi looked up from where he was sitting in the large field to see what was coming toward him. It was Gia the horse. He looked like something scared him.

"What the hell happened to scare the shit out of you Gia? Hey, where's Grandpa?"

"Neigh, Neigh." Translation: I bucked that foo off near a ghetto of a castle. Man, I don't need to be put through this shit. Those wolf pimps scared the bling off me, I even lost my hat. Damn! (A.N. The horse is a pimp by the way)

"Wow. It is a good thing that I learned how to speak horse. We will get Grandpa and you bling and pimp hat back." Yugi said as he mounted the horse.

"Neigh." Translation: Solid.

The two speed off into the forest that would change Yugi's life forever. (Insert dramatic music.)

…………………………

How was that guys?

Yami: I liked how you made the horse a pimp.

Yeah, I do hope that I am not insulting any one out there, I do not speak pimp.

Yami: Please review this chapter for us.

Okay, me Yami, and Yugi have some thing special for all of you out there. Yami and Yugi will say the lines that were written for the greatest Puzzleshipping AMV of all time. I will have them say it.

**Yami**

_Yugi_

Commentary

Let us begin:

_Atem…why did you have to go…? Don't you realize that…I love…?_

**Yugi-chan…I never wanted to leave…Do you think…I lost on purpose…? I would give anything to be with you…Because I love you…Everyday alone is torture…**

_Atem please…come home. I miss you…I love you…_

**I would give anything to return to you…To hold you in my arms…I would send a million people to the Shadow Realm if I could just do this…Aibou…Is that you…?**

_Yes…it's me Yugi-chan…I could never leave you…_

**I have come back for you…I can not live with out you. Here…let me hold you in my arms…And love you forever…**

…_is it true…? Did you really come back for me?_

**Yes…I can not live without your love…I have loved you for a very long time…**

_I love you to Atem…_

**Come then…let us…embrace our love Yugi-chan…**

_Yes…please…_

(Insert kissing scene from Gravitation, since 4Kids Entertainment won't let us see Yugi and Yami kiss. BOOOOOOOOO!)

OMG!

It's every Puzzleshipper's dream!

Must… have… MORE!

-All Puzzleshipping fans faint-

(This is all in the video. Not that comment about the Gravitation thing though. If you want to see it, go to YouTube and look for divinequeenyeiweh. I swear that all you peps out there will love it. Trust me, it kicks ass!)


	5. 5: This now has a plot!

…

Hello?

(A bunch of items are thrown at Ri, including an ax and a trampoline)

Alright, alright I get it. I left this story un-updated in forever and you are all pissed off because I don't update.

Yami: Damn it woman! You need to work faster!

Shut it Yami! I was busy with Prideshipping mpreg and other things to not update this story, but look! I'm updating now!

(Yami and Ri start wailing on each other… again)

Yugi: Umm… I guess the disclaimer is up to me again, just like in some of her other stories. RiYuYami does not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Beauty and the Beast. She does own the plot and probably the word "man-wife." She does own any OCs and any products that you have never heard of, but she also half-owns one of the people in this story that will becoming in this chapter.

ON WITH THE FIC! Oww, Yami you bit me!

…………….

Chapter 5: "This now has a plot!"

So Yugi and Gaia, ( Finally got the name right, thanks for correcting me_ guys_. Oh BTW, I was being sarcastic.) rode off into the dark forest, running over a squirrel or two by accident. Gaia didn't stop until they reached the large gothic looking castle that Walt Disney's company based off King Ludwig II white castle from Germany.

"Geez, this looks like something out of Harry Potter, or an emo." Yugi mumbled to himself as he and Gaia walk thorough the gates.

Yugi left Gaia outside and walked in. "Grandpa! Grandpa!" No answer. "HEY UGLY! YOU IN HERE??!"

Still no answer.

Yugi got angry and started to walk around. Checking things out, stealing a few items here and there, tagging a wall with the title _I was here_. Soon Yugi walked past an open door and inside were Joey and Tristan.

"I can't believe you! This is what you were doing, 'come inside, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch!' Nark." (I forgot about the dog-stool thing that will be Raphael okay?)

"Hey, I was trying to be nice Tristan, unlike you." Joey spoke, but the argument stopped when a boy with the most insane hair they had ever seen, aside from their master's, popped his head in. "Yo Gramps, you in here?" Yugi asked, once again, no answer. He turned and left.

Joey and Tristan stuck their head out into the hall way and watched Yugi walk away.

"Hey, you see that? Maybe he can break the spell on us! Let's follow!"

"Right behind you Joey!"

--

So Dingus and Wingus, I mean, Joey and Tristan followed Yugi and helped lead him to the dungeons. Yugi heard his Grandfather talking to himself about hot girls and went over to his cell. "FINALLY! You had me fucking worried old man! How dare you?!" Yugi yelled.

"Not my fault! That huge man behind you did this to me!" Grandpa pointed to the left side of Yugi.

"What man…" Yugi was lost for words when he saw a large shadow moving behind him with red eyes looking down at him. He could barley make him out because of the darkness and the only light was from a small window.

Yami could barley see Yugi as well, but he heard him speak. "What the hell is going on here?!" Yugi finally spoke.

"I am the master of the castle and I should be asking you the same thing… I think." Yami said. Yugi tilted his head, this voice was gruff and yet… it was also sexy non the less. "Come into the light." Yugi demanded.

"Okay." Yami spoke as he took a step and Yugi saw that he was way taller than himself, his skin was pitch black, he had large nails that seemed like claws, fangs, a muscular build, thin, hair almost like Yugi's only more crazy, and the reddest eyes that Yugi had ever seen.

"Shit." Was all Yugi could saw. The taller pointed to him. "Now you do the same child."

Yugi shrugged and stepped forward. Yami saw that Yugi had pale skin, hair almost like his own, soft looking lips that Yami wanted to ravish **badly**, a nice ass, a thin body, and the largest mostly lovely looking amethyst eyes. Surly, the Gods had sent him an angel. 'Well fuck me with some thing hard and sandpapery…' Yami thought as he looked him up and down. "Umm… do you want that old guy to be let go?" Yami stuttered with out thinking.

Yugi shrugged again. "Sure."

"Okay, but only if you say and take his place."

"Sure, I got nothing better to do, and besides, I beat Kingdom Hearts already and I need to blow time."

"Alright, by the way, names Yami? And yours?"

"Yugi." Yami nodded and ripped open Grandpa's door, grabbed to old man and took him out to the court yard and told a carriage to take him to town.

--

Yugi staid in the dungeon for a bit as he waited for Yami to come back, or what ever. Then the boy suddenly thought that without his Grandfather, he would never get the old man's insurance and junk. "Aw crap." Yami cam back and he took Yugi by the hand and yanked him toward the exit. "Let's go." As he walked down the stairs, Joey, who he was holding as a source of light, began to speak in a low whispers

"Umm… master, why don't you give this boy a nice room and a tour, it could help make him feel more welcomed and maybe he could break the spell."

Yami just snuffed at him, causing his light to go out and Yugi, Yami, and Joey tripped down the last few steps.

Joey turned his light back on and was surprised to see Yami on top of Yugi in a weird position so it looked liked sex.

After that embarrassing moment and a few apologies, Yami gave Yugi a tour and then threw him, literally, into a large guest room. "My servants will attend for you. Have fun staying here for the rest of your days!" Yami smirked and slammed the door.

Yugi fell onto the bed and fell asleep, but cried a bit because he forgot his games and books back home.

**HEEEEEEEERRRREEEEEESSSSSSSS KAIBA'S BIG MUSICAL MOMENT! **

Back in town, Kaiba sat in his seat at the pub, talking to Mokuba, but mostly himself.

(start of the song)

Kaiba: Who does he think he is? That boy has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Kaiba! Mokuba: Heh heh. Darn right. Kaiba: Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear. Mokuba: More beer? Kaiba: What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced. Mokuba: Who, you? Never! Kaiba, you've got to pull yourself together. Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Kaiba Looking so down in the dumps (PUNCH) Every guy here'd love to be you, Kaiba Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're ev'ryone's favorite guy Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why No one's slick as Kaiba No one's quick as Kaiba No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Kaiba For there's no man in town half as manly Perfect, a pure paragon You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on Chorus: No one's been like Gaston. A king pin like Kaiba Mokuba: No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Kaiba Kaiba: As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating Chorus: My what a guy, that Kaiba Give five "hurrahs!" Give twelve "hip-hips!" Mokuba: Kaiba is the best. And the rest is all drips Chorus: No one fights like Kaiba Douses lights like Kaiba Guy 1: In a wrestling match nobody bites like Kaiba Girls from the street and Pegasus: For there's no one as burly and brawny Kaiba: As you see I've got biceps to spare Mokuba: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny Kaiba: That's right! And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair (WTF?! He's freakin' hair-less on his body! ) Cronies: No one hits like Kaiba Guy 2: Matches wits like Kaiba Mokuba: In a spitting match nobody spits like Kaiba Kaiba: I'm especially good at expectorating (Ptooey!) Chorus: Ten points for Kaiba! (Mokuba is hit) Kaiba: When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge Chorus: No one shoots like Kaiba Makes those beauts like Kaiba Mokuba: Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Kaiba Kaiba: I use antlers in all of my decorating Chorus: Say it again Who's a man among men? And then say it once more Who's the hero next door? Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers-on There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down Mokuba: And his name's K-A-I- B - K-A-I-B - A - K-A-I-B-A- oh! Chorus: KAIBA! Suddenly the doors flew open and a cold winter breeze blew in, along with Solomon. (part two of the song) Solomon: Help! Someone help me! Tavern keeper: Solomon? Solomon: Please! Please, I need your help. He's got him - he's got him locked in the dungeon! Mokuba: Who? Solomon: Yugi.! We must go. N-not a minute to lose! Kaiba: Whoa! Slow down, Solomon. Who's got Yugi locked in a dungeon? Solomon: A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast! Guy 1: Is it a big beast? Solomon: Huge! Guy 2: With a long, sharp fangs? Solomon: Really long! Drunk 1: And sharp, cruel fangs? Solomon: Yes! Yes! Will you help me? Kaiba: All right, old man. We'll help you out. Solomon: You will? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! (everyone throws him in to the snow) Tavern keeper: Crazy old Solomon. Drunk 2: He's always good for a laugh. Kaiba: Crazy old Solomon, hmmm? Crazy old Solomon. Hmmm. Mokuba, I'm afraid I've been thinking Mokuba: A dangerous pastime Kaiba: I know But that whacky old coot is Yug's grandfather And his sanity's only "so-so" Now the wheels in my head have been turning Since I looked at that loony, old man See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Yugi And right now I'm evolving a plan If I . . . whisper Mokuba: Yes? Kaiba: Then we . . . whisper Mokuba: No! Would he . . . Kaiba: whisper Guess! Mokuba: Now I get it! Both: Let's go! No one plots like Kaiba Kaiba: Takes cheap shots like Kaiba Mokuba: Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Kaiba Chorus: So his marriage we soon'll be celebratin My what a guy! KAIBA!

Outside Solomon walked around in the minor blizzard and scream into the heavens. "Why won't you let me die?! WHY!?"

………….

THERE! You happy now?! Are you finally going to let me go and just wait until I update again?! Are you finally satisfied!? This is seven freakin' pages long! (sigh) I got this song from a website instead of writing it all out; I just changed most of the names and things. Anyway, review or else my lovely readers! (smile)

(sorry about the song, but for some reason it seems to scrunch up)


	6. 6: Dinner and the Meanie

Well, it has been a LONG time since I even glanced at this fic. Personally I still love it because it was such a great idea when I first came up with it years ago, but I guess I should get off my lazy white ass and start working on it.

Oh, and sorry about the song last chapter, Fanfiction screwed it up. When I find the file again I'll fix it again so it looks somewhat better.

And forgive me for all my spelling mistakes last time, I was not use to typing back when I started and for the most part I don't really pay much attention when I type.

Oh, and we will be introducing another character into this known only as the Anti-Seto, he's just here to be Joey's lover since this is a yaoi story.

On with the fic!

And BTW, I still legally own the word 'man-wife' so please, don't steal.

* * *

**Yugi and the Beast**

**Chapter Six: Dinner and the Meanie**

* * *

After a while, and Yugi freaking out because he swore he heard Kaiba singing while he was asleep, the boy woke up hungry and pissed. But since he didn't want to see Yami at all, the guy took him away from his possessions at home; he was not going to leave his room.

In another room where Yami was walking around in front of the fire place, he growled, listening to Ishizu and Joey telling him that he needed to act nice to Yugi and not scare him so much.

"But I can't help it! That's how I'm written and portrayed to be!" Yami whined as he looked at the candle stick and the tea pot. It was odd seeing a man made of solid shadows and evil pouting like an angry little child, or Yugi if he's gets an epic fail on one his easy games.

"Now look here," Ishizu spoke as she jumped down, landing on a pillow, "you need to act like a real human, not some whinny teen who hasn't left his house in years!"

"Ouch… my pride… NOT!"

"SHUT UP."

Yami backed off a bit and Ishizu continued, and some how this porcelain tea pot is actually scaring a man who is made of pure darkness and gayness. Weird world huh?

"Now, stand straight."

Yami did.

"Look proud."

Yami did.

"Smile."

Yami didn't.

"Ah come on Master! You have to smile for the young lad!" Joey grinned as he looked at the other male in the room. Yami sighed and smirked rather then smiled. "You call that a smile?!"

"I don't smile, I smirk wax-for-nuts!"

"At least I have a lover!"

"You're lover is a green-haired psycho who runs around the castle naked!"

"He's you cousin!"

"…"

"…"

"Touché you little bitch…"

* * *

"I'm going to be a total and gullible moron and walk around a large castle that I have never been into my entire cute and diabolical life all by my self."

Yugi sighed after he got ready to leave the room, but before he did anything, he heard a knock at the door. "I'm naked!" He yelled, hoping that the black-guy from before didn't come in.

"No you're not! Open the door I have tea!" The person, a woman, outside the door yelled.

"What kinda tea?"

"A weird brown color that taste like drinking leaves!"

"Okay, come in." Yugi opened the door but screamed when he saw a cart come in on its own and he saw a tea pot and a tea cup looking at him, though all the other dishes and the cart itself had no eyes but they were alive at the same time as the other things.

Which makes no fucking sense!

"Okay, what the hell is going on, why are you alive? Am I in some weird show?"

"Well, because in the actual universe we are from allows me to break the forth wall, this is a fanfic based on the extremely confusing and award-winning 1991 Disney movie called Beauty and the Beast which is based on a French book. You are playing a girl by the way, also this castle is cursed but we can't do anything about it and I can't tell you anymore or Master will kick our butts. I'm Ishizu."

Yugi raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Umm… I'm Yugi. And I'll take that tea; I haven't had anything in a few hours."

Ishizu nodded and filled the cup next to her. Yugi picked it up and saw it giggling. "Hi! I'm Ryo! Want to see me do a trick?!" The cup spoke in a British accent. Ryo held his breath and suddenly the tea bubbled, but he stopped when Ishizu told him to stop.

"Alright, so everything in here is cursed… does that mean that if I try to get undressed… you'll all look?"

Suddenly the wardrobe started to speak. "Of course not, we are a classy bunch, now the carpet might look though…" Yugi looked down and heard the carpet snicker so he spilt the hot tea on it, smirking when it screamed in pain.

"OW! DAMN YOU MARIK!" The carpet screamed and Yugi turned to see that that wardrobe was snickering. A knock was heard at the door and Yugi saw a clock walk in and bow.

"Dinner is served."

* * *

"So… what did he say?"

"Umm… do you really want me to say his words…?"

"Yes…"

"He said 'To hell with having a fucking dinner with the fucking bastard that took me from my home and my collection of video games! I was in the middle of fighting in the Halloween Town world on Kingdom Hearts II and now I'm stuck in this God forsaken hell hole of a castle! So my answer is no dip shit!' Sorry sir."

* * *

Yami stormed down the hallways of his castle on all fours like a dog, everyone screamed and moved out of the way as the master of his domain ran down the halls, though he ended up smacking into the wall next to Yugi's room.

"I'm not coming out." Yami heard through the door.

"Oh come on! I just ran into a wall!"

"No, I don't want to."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"_**PPPPLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!!!!????" **_

"_**NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!**_ No."

"Screw you ya little star head! Stay in there and rot to death for all I care!"

"You're a star head too."

Yami growled loudly and stormed off but not before turning to Joey and glaring deeply at the candle. "You. Watch his door. I'm going to play Left 4 Dead on my Xbox for the next four hours with metal music playing the whole time and I won't be hearing or paying attention any large and famously annoying songs about being a guest." And Yami walked off.

Joey nodded and started walking up and down the hall until Yami was out of site, and then Joey went back behind the curtain he was behind before and smirked.

* * *

The wooden door opened and Yugi looked around, not seeing anyone in sight, though he heard some giggling and stuff behind a curtain and someone saying, 'Joey, turn off the flames, you might burn me again!' Yugi shook his head and walked down the halls.

Joey looked behind the curtain as well as a green-haired, gold-eyed, pale skinned teen that was naked from the chest up. "Hey, isn't that the cutie that Yami wanted to screw?" The green headed boy asked and Joey nodded.

"Yep! Come on Anti-Seto, let's go after him!" The candle stick smiled and bounced off with Anti-Seto following him.

"Hey Yugi!" Joey called, seeing the boy turn his head as he walked along.

"What do you want?" Yugi then noticed the other human in the hall, if you could call him human.

"Well, me and Anti-Seto wanted to know what you were doing, and did you know that you actually walked into the kitchen?" Joey replied.

Yugi blinked and looked around and saw that the dishes were getting cleaned up and Tristan, the clock from what Yugi learned, was telling everyone to get ready for bed. All the while the large white stove was bitching at everyone. "I can't believe that little prick didn't eat! All this food is going to waste!"

"Now calm down Bakura, the one you call 'prick' is here." Anti-Seto grinned widely and pointed at Yugi. Bakura shut his mouth and Ishizu hopped over to them.

"Are you hungry Yugi?" The boy nodded and everyone in the kitchen cheered. "Let's get him something to eat!"

Tristan panicked. "Guys, remember what the master said!"

"Oh shush Tristan, he's hungry!"

"Fine, a glass of water and a crust of bread will do." Tristan sighed and Yugi kicked him.

"Thank you!" Anti-Seto grinned again. "Anyway, let's take you to the table! Come on Joey, Yugi!" They walked into the large dining room and Yugi looked around. The light went out and suddenly a spotlight showed on Joey who stood on the table.

(Here comes another song…)

_Ma chere Mousier,  
it is with deepest pride and greatest  
pleasure that we welcome you tonight.  
And now we invite you to relax, let  
us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents -  
your dinner! )_

Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Put our service to the test  
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, Cherie  
And we provide the rest  
Soup du jour  
Hot hors d'oeuvres  
Why, we only live to serve  
Try the grey stuff, it's delicious  
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes  
They can sing  
They can dance  
After all, man, this is France  
And a dinner here is never second best  
Go on, unfold your menu  
Take a glance and then you'll  
Be our guest  
Oui, our guest  
Be our guest

Beef ragout  
Cheese soufflé  
Pie and pudding "en flambé"  
We'll prepare and serve with flair  
A culinary cabaret  
You're alone  
And you're scared  
But the banquet's all prepared  
No one's gloomy or complaining  
While the flatware's entertaining  
We tell jokes  
I do tricks  
With my fellow candlesticks  
[Mugs:] And it's all in perfect taste  
That you can bet  
[All:] Come on and lift your glass  
You've won your own free pass  
To be out guest  
[Joey:] If you're stressed  
It's fine dining we suggest  
[All:] Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Be our guest

[Joey:] Life is so unnerving  
For a servant who's not serving  
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon  
Ah, those good old days when we were useful  
Suddenly those good old days are gone  
Ten years we've been rusting  
Needing so much more than dusting  
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills  
Most days we just lay around the castle  
Flabby, fat and lazy  
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

[Ishizu:] It's a guest  
It's a guest  
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed  
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord  
I've had the napkins freshly pressed  
With dessert  
She'll want tea  
And my dear that's fine with me  
While the cups do their soft shoeing  
I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing  
I'll get warm  
Piping hot  
Heaven's sakes! Is that a spot?  
Clean it up! We want the company impressed  
We've got a lot to do  
Is it one lump or two  
For you, our guest?  
[Chorus:] She's our guest  
[Ishizu:] She's our guest  
[Chorus:] She's our guest

Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Our command is your request  
It's ten years since we had anybody here  
And we're obsessed  
With your meal  
With your ease  
Yes, indeed, we aim to please  
While the candlelight's still glowing  
Let us help you  
We'll keep going

Course by course  
One by one  
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"  
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest  
Tonight you'll prop your feet up  
But for now, let's eat up  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Be our guest  
Please, be our guest

Yugi blinked as the dining room was lit up and food was and dishes were everywhere. The boy grinned and clapped. "Brilliant! Wonderful! Though now I'm going to wonder aimlessly around this castle for a bit okay?" He spoke as he stood up and Joey and Tristan followed behind while Anti-Seto chased after some screaming spoons, asking why they were made of Tuesday.

"Okay, so what do you have in here?" Yugi asked, looking around and ignoring Tristan who had been telling him what was here the whole time.

"Well, lots of things that a castle has. Just don't see the West Wing; I heard the show is just stupid. Also, don't go to the west wing of this building." Joey replied.

"Why not?"

"Because you can't."

Yugi sighed and smirked slightly. "LOOK! A naked Anti-Seto!"

Joey ran off, drooling, and Tristan chased after him.

The small boy smirked evilly and walked down towards the west wing. He passed by much damaged furniture and paintings as he came to a large set of doors. Yugi opened the doors and looked around. He saw a really messy bed room.

Walking over to a wall, he saw a panting that had been slashed. It was of a tan man with hair like Yami's and crimson-eyes. "Damn! He's hot!" Yugi exclaimed, but his attention was turned to something glowing near the balcony. He walked over and gasped at the glowing rose inside, just as he went to touch the class, black hands slapped onto.

"What are you doing here…?" Yami growled.

All Yugi could think was that he was more screwed then hooker. "I thought I told you never to come here. Get out!" Yami yelled are Yugi who high tailed it out the doors and outside into the snow and kept running.

TBC

* * *

NINE PAGES?! That's the longest chapter so far! Hope you guys like this one, much funnier then the others in my opinion.

Please review and I might update soon!


End file.
